Death and Life

So here it is Maunday Thursday, and as I prepare to relive the steps that Jesus walked into the garden, then to the cross and ultimately to the Resurrection, I have an uneasy feeling about it this year.
I am not sure why, I am just feeling uneasy. I have to admit in the last month, my heart has been heavy for more of God, more of His grace and more of His Spirit in my life. I like to think of these times in my life as times of thirst. I am thirsty for more of God and maybe it has come through a need to see and understand more of God's love in my life. The more thirst that I have for God, the more I see myself as I am, and I must admit that it is hard to look in the mirror during those times.
The longer that I follow Jesus, the more that I want to be like Him, the more that I see myself for what I really am - just a sinner that needs the mercy, love and grace of God.
So I go on this journey - maybe my uneasiness is the fact that I need God's presence in my life more now than ever. Life is fragile, and I am really learning how fragile relationships are, others who I may think will always be there, are not always going to be there for whatever reason, but no matter what I know that my Saviour Jesus will be. So to this journey I must go again this year, and as I go, I go uneasy, but I go also knowing that I will learn more of God's love for me and whether I want it or not, I will learn more about myself. May your journey this Easter to the cross and resurrection be an experience of love, joy and peace.